There are several times during the year when there can be a recognition that this is a good time to make a change or start something new. For example, the beginning of the year is seen as a great time to declare a break from the past. Other times include the start of a new season, milestones such as the start or end of school or a job, a work anniversary, birth or death of someone in your life, and your birthday or an anniversary like when you started dating or got engaged or married.
Often, we imagine our future and think we know how it will unfold. Guess what? We don’t – your future is actually unwritten. Your future has not happened yet. On the one hand, if you drag the familiar pain from the past with you, you can write your future to look like your past. On the other hand, recent events can happen that disrupt our life and our society, such as 9-11, Me-Too Movement, Covid-19 pandemic and Black Lives Matter protests that have brought racism to the forefront and are finally challenging unacceptable treatment of Blacks that have been tolerate for many years.
All of this is to show that we don’t know what the future holds but if we repeat our past, nothing changes. Or…. You can declare your fresh restart any day or time of the year. New Years is an artificial restart date for your life. We can declare any day as our own “New Years Day” as the perfect time to reflect and make changes. When you do this, you make a break from the past and create a new present and future that pulls you forward.
Today, if the past months have been difficult or you just didn’t accomplish everything you wanted, you really can stop holding on to your failures, disappointments, resentment of others and anything else that cuts you off from the love, inspiration, creativity, joy and abundance that you want and deserve.
What do you want? What does your heart want? Stop and think about this.
Then pay attention to the internal conversations that arise that will sabotage what your heart wants. For example, if you want more intimacy with your partner or to meet a wonderful man who could be your life partner, when you start to imagine that new future, you’ll probably hear your Inner Judge judging your dream, telling you it won’t happen. (It’s job is to keep you safe.) Some examples are: Nothing will change. Who are you kidding thinking that is possible? He or she won’t change. You don’t deserve love. Who is going to love you? You had your chance and you blew it. You’d have love IF … you were thinner, or smarter, more lovable, knew how to manage money or ….
UGH! Fill in the familiar conversations your inner critic tells you.)
Most of the time our Inner Judge is talking to us but we don’t hear it as a critic. It just sounds like a true thought. It’s not true. Remember, your future is unwritten unless you write it with the past.
Are you willing to rewrite the conversations that are not aligned with your dream results?
Are you willing to forgive others or yourself? Let go of disappointments?
“When I was walking out the gate to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave behind my bitterness and hatred, I’d still be in prison.” ~ Nelson Mandela.
Are you willing to open your heart to accept the love that is already in your life instead of rejecting it because it doesn’t look the way you want?
Fill in this statement with an area you want to change: “I am willing to stop tolerating __________. or “I want to create a new future of my design, not from the past, in the area of ______________”
Fill in at least one of these statements – or all of them – with whatever your heart wants… I want __________. I deserve ___________. I want to explore ____________.”
Most of us like familiar – even if it’s boring and we don’t have what we want, at least we know we can survive it. Take a look at your life. Where are you holding on to the familiar? Are you willing to let go of the familiar? You don’t have to know HOW to let go, only that you want to! Empower what your heart wants for the future not your fear and resignation from the past.
If you are willing to let go of bringing your old, familiar thinking, feelings, speaking, and acting to your new year, then I can guide you to not just let go of the familiar but how to actually create and practice new ways of thinking, feelings, speaking and acting so you can actually have a new future.
Your real “New Year” starts on the day when you say “YES, I am willing!” and then get the support you need to do something different that will put you on that new path. What has been a signal for you to re-evaluate your life and do something different? Post it in the comment section.
If you would like some support, I’d love to offer you a complimentary Healthy Relationship and Communication Assessment. It’s a 60-90 minute call with me to uncover what you are doing that is blocking you from having what you want in life related to your mindset/beliefs, relationships, communication and connect to youself, others and life. For example, what if you could have the confidence, love, accomplishment, peace and happiness you want? Click here to send me a note about the assessment and a brief description of what you want to work on such as the answers to the statements above. I’ll send you a link to my calendar.
This blog can be your “Get out of jail card” (remember the Monopoly game. You get to say – no one else – if now is the time to release yourself from the prison of your habits!