We all have created habits as children to cope with the hurt we suffered. I call these “Survival Habits” because they helped us survive difficult times, like when our parents fought, we were bullied at school, or “friends” were mean to us.   

We typically carry these habits that are based in fear into adulthood – and they affect how we think, feel, act, and speak now.   

• Do you have to be a “Pleaser” and end up saying “yes” to others when you want to say “no” because you don’t want to disappoint them or fear rejection…and then end up feeling resentful because you give to others, they don’t help you, and you don’t know what you really want… and either does anyone else! 
• Do you avoid conflict so you don’t speak up and don’t hold the boundaries you set? As a parent or leader, do you set guidelines then when kids or staff buck the rules, you give in? 
• Do you have high standards for yourself, try to be perfect and be in control and life is about being and doing the best? And when you miss the mark, you shame yourself? 
• Are you afraid to get in trouble so avoid being responsible by blaming others, events outside your control, or play the victim – it’s not your fault!  
• Withdrawing or being invisible to  “protect” you from being blamed, but feeling like no one sees, knows, or cares about you feeling you don’t deserve anything 

We are all wounded, a little or a lot.  It’s inescapable.  

If you are yearning for deeper connections with the people in your life – and not sure what to do, start with the Relationship IQ Quiz!