You are a boundary master!

You aren’t afraid to use your voice, and you set and hold boundaries with firmness and respect. WOOHOO!!

You have ensured that you have had clear communication in your expectations and your limits with those around you. You might still see if there are any relationships where you are less firm or more frustrated than usual.

Are there any particular areas in your life where your boundaries are not clear and consistent?  While you may be a master with friends and family, you may still struggle with your peers or co-worker, or vice-versa. Now is the perfect opportunity to begin looking at your relationships in all areas so people know where you stand and feel honored with how you navigate your boundaries with them.

Boundaries are hard, and I so get it! As a “Relationship Fixer” in the cooprate world, I thought I knew it all when it came to creating and maintaining boundaries.  It wasn’t until a number of years ago when a personal issue arose that I knew there were some areas in which I still held blinders, and while I was proficient in most areas, I found myself becoming angry and resentful in others.

While it’s easy to be angry, I knew that isn’t who I wanted to be, and not how I wanted to show up. It was time to dig in and really see where the core of my issues lie. By allowing myself to be curious rather than giving into the anger, I realized I had not set nor voiced clear boundaries with this person, and most likely they didn’t even know or realize they had crossed! Wow!

Because I gave myself the space to delve deeper and recognize the true issue, I was able to recreate and heal the relationship, and I am so grateful for that as it was one that was and still is extremely important to me.

One of the biggest complaints I have from clients who come to me either on the verge of divorce or contemplating leaving their jobs is that they don’t feel heard or respected in their relationships, but when we dig a little deeper, one of the repeated issues really lies in not knowing how to speak up when they feel their boundaries are crossed.

Boundaries are not something that we born knowing.  They are often based on social cues we learn as children from society and aren’t always recognized by being important until later on in life.  And since most often or not, we aren’t taught clearly at a young age, we spend a lot of our time navigating this in life and learning on our own.  

Boundaries may be easily created, but sometimes take conscious effort to maintain as not everyone knows how to have them be heard, and in some cases don’t know how to listen for other’s boundaries because others may not be clearly voicing them.  That’s where I come in!